A note to myself.

It's been ages since the last time I've posted something on this page. Now I'm writing it, I have no friggin idea what to write or what to tell (that's ridiculous, I know)

ANYWAY,

The past few weeks have been the hardest. Mental breakdown's everywhere. I feel like my life is surrounded by giant walls, even setting the daily alarm on my phone can be a devastating thing to do. Suddenly, a question popped in my head, asking "what is happiness?" 

and another popped in, "are you happy?" 

Am I happy?

Can we actually define happiness?
Why do we have to be happy?

Why do we have to feel unhappy?

urgh. 

No one can really answer these questions. And those voices that asking me those questions are really getting on my nerves. 

Those questions were running around my head like, for a countless lap, until I decided to STOP. Get yourself together. STOP. just, STOP. 

I tell myself that "why do you have to question everything?!" 

Sometimes it's good to have such questions to satisfy that curious side of yourself, but sometimes it's also not good to have such questions. 

I do realize now that questioning everything doesn't make me any happier or satisfy even if my question got brilliantly answered.

I slowly learn that sometimes you just have to accept things the way they were, and just live with it.

This is life. Is not getting easier. Will NEVER be any easier ( AND ALSO GETTING SHIT-IER AND SHIIIIIIIIIT-IER). It's just we have to get stronger and stronger, Sounds veerrrry cliche and corny, but that's the fact. 

uh, so damn pointless. But again, you don't have to question everything, no?