You see, I'm trying to hide everything behind my dry jokes, my cockiness, and my ambition to be the alpha. To admit that I have this big stone on my shoulder is just too heart wrenching.
It's not right, but I guess it's not wrong either, huh?
I literally almost lost my sanity. I don't know how to cope with all this. This is not something that you Google and get the answer or the 101 instantly.
I hate to admit that I am weak.
I hate to admit that I need help.
I hate to admit that I cannot do this alone
But actually, I do. I do need help. I do need someone to lean on. I do need advice.
Instead of getting a real help, here I am, whining about my life, exposing the fragility to the anonymous hahaha.
No matter how many packs that I've smoked, no matter how much pills I've taken to help me sleep, no matter how much food that I've binge eating, my happiness is still far from where it belongs.
What a crappy update after a year mia.
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